What Made Mom Her ~ Things I love and miss

The gentle way she moved her hands. the way her right hand lay across her thigh when she drove. her body hair was so fine and blonde she didn't shave above the knees, and you couldn't tell. she didn't even have to tweeze her eyebrows.(i didn't get that trait!) the way she lay her hands on the steering wheel - in the middle, not on the grip part. the way a little bit of spit formed in the corners of her mouth when she got excited and talked a lot. her laugh, which really wasn't often, but more of a m, m,mmm - really a forced laugh because she didn't find humor in funny movies or jokes. she really only laughed when someone actually said or did something happy and worth noticing. the way her bangs fell across her forehead. how she teased her hair at the crown. the face she made when she was cutting vegetables, kind of a frown. she always wore those white stretchy pants on weekends full of chores at home. i swear i remember those things from when i was four or five, and she was still wearing them when i graduated college. those brown sandals and bright-colored 3/4 sleeved sweaters she wore when we lived in chapel hill. how she was always running late. before work, church, everywhere! one year she and i were late to my own birthday party at the skating rink. all my friends were there skating laps when we got there. embarrassing :) the way she doodled in church, stopping only to sing, pray, or to take notes in the margins of her Bible. she also let me trace her hands and try on her wedding rings while we sat in church. oh, and she and i would play squares in church, and she would draw letters with dots and i would connect them. how she always wanted to talk about the movie we just watched as soon as we left the theater. how her lips would poke out and mush up when she cried. how blue, blue, blue her eyes were, especially during her last days at hospice. how she would rub her head slowly when she was bald from chemo. how she wore beautiful silky scarves and sharp hats that matched her power suits every day to work when she was going through chemo. how she wouldn't let anyone feel sorry for, nor would she ask for help during chemo. how she opted to do chemo every 2 weeks instead of the recommended 3 so she could get finished quicker - and she still made it into the law firm every day, refusing to give up. although when she got home in evenings, she often went straight to bed without eating. the way she called me kelly welly, especially to gently wake me in the mornings. one of my last text messages from her says kelly welly? she was just downstairs when she sent it, but never wanted to holler. in fact, she bought an intercom system for the house when i was in middle school so that we could communicate with a touch of a button instead of yelling down the hall. she liked quiet. she would not answer me if i ever yelled, until i calmly walked up to her and spoke quietly. she'd say "smart sound!" when she wanted the TV volume turned down. "hey babe" when she answered my phone calls. we spoke every day, normally 2 or 3 times the last year she was alive. the way she sat on my bed every night of my life from babyhood til i started college. we'd talk about our day, what happened at school, say prayers, and goodnights. the way she always said "you better hug your mama" when i wasn't hugging her back tight enough. the night i slammed my finger in the car door and she explained to me it was okay to say "pain in the neck" (which i'd learned from gran) but what you never ever say is "pain in the ass". the way she smiled with her eyes. how she loved to stay up til early morning talking during holidays or when i visited. walking through the woods gathering berries, pine cones, and other neat pieces of nature to make our christmas wreath every year. the way she gently rubbed our black lab lady's body and said softly through tears, "she's still warm" on the day we returned home from a funeral and found lady not breathing in the backyard. (lady died of cancer at 4 years old.) the night she called me into her bedroom and asked me "how would you like to have a little brother or sister?" can't remember my reaction but i remember her big grin and response "well, i think you're gonna have one" i remember she had horrible heartburn the rest of the pregnancy, otherwise no problems. how she put me in dance and modeling, taking me to classes, paying for photo shoots and an agent - i wonder if she dreamed of me hitting it big. i was told i was too short to ever make it in that business, but she always believed in me. the way she would come in my room in mornings to pull me out of bed when i'd been hitting snooze for too long, and she would end up lying down beside me and falling asleep herself. (hey, i get my bad morning habits honest) the way Dad bought her estee lauder youth dew nearly every christmas, and she did not like it so she had bottles of it lined up in the cabinet. when she took me to get my ears pierced at the mall for my birthday. how she refused to allow me to shave my legs even though most of the girls in my grade were. then the night before i left for disney world on a 3 day trip with the school, she brought home a razor and shaving cream and said i could let one of the girls show me how when we got to the hotel. how she wrote to me on cards and left them on my pillow for me to find. how she let me pick the paint colors for my bedroom and paint the walls myself whenever we moved. i still remember my 2 favorite colors - martha stewart's eidelweiss and ralph lauren's surfboard yellow. how she would sing songs from the sound of music. how she never ever ever farted out loud. and never cursed except for when she was in labor and when she was dying of cancer. the way she did for other people without ever saying a word about it. the ways she studied the bible, deeply, thoughtfully, through precept studies. she woke up at 4 a.m. and read the bible for an hour or two every morning. then she'd go back to sleep until she had to get up for work. she did this almost every night. her snacks, and meals for that matter - toast with peanut butter topped with nilla wafers, banana sandwiches with mayonnaise, tomato sandwiches, quiche, macaroni and cheese with a can of tuna in it...